The Empath's Achilles Heel & the Need to Rescue Others

Are you a self-proclaimed heart-on-sleeve, helper of all in need?

Do other people’s emotions affect you and certain people and places seem to drain you?

If yes, you may want to google the term ‘empath’.  Then when you find yourself nodding your head, you will want to google ‘how to develop good boundaries’.

It isn’t a scare tactic, and I am definitely not suggesting a put-down to my empathic sisters, but I am highly encouraging you to consider your role with respect to managing your energy, after all, no one but you can do anything about it and it is the difference between you living your best life, or living an exhausted one.

Allow me to further explain … healers a.k.a. empaths are people who have a stronger attachment system to others, particularly to those who need healing.  This means you have a system that is wired to ‘help heal’ and everything and anything that needs healing seems to magnetize to you.  However, just because this is ‘how you are’ does not mean you have to be give, give, giving 24/7 ... in fact it is totally unreasonable for you to expect that of yourself and is the quickest way for you to end up completely run down.

So how does an empath help themselves?  It is time to double-down on your boundaries.  Begin to take stock of what gives you energy in your life, and what drains it.  What makes you happy, excited and lifts you up? Plan to do more of what gives you energy (meditation, yoga, positive people, nature etc.) and do less of what drains you.

Layer numero deux … when you have to do things that normally drain you, learn ways to protect, conserve and hold onto your energy. 

Less crappy news watching, less Facebook scrolling and when faced with a situation with another person that typically drains you, be aware of the energy around you and create an intention NOT to take it on by way of not attaching to it.  Send that energy back to the sender :)

For instance, when someone tells you an emotionally painful story, don’t jump into the story like your involvement of feeling it fully and completely will actually help that person to heal it --- it won’t.  Avoid attaching to other’s energy by visualizing it over and over in your mind, adopting painful thoughts about it and then do your best to resist the urge to take action … jumping in to ‘save’ that person won’t save them (or you). 

Rather, become an observer and inquire about the journey, how they feel and how they are dealing with it.  This ‘stance’ allows you to assist the person in finding their own way through it and will empower them to find their own solutions and realize their own strength.   

Feeling like you can ‘save, fix, help or heal’ the person only robs them of their journey and power to do this for themselves, and has you tango-ing with energy that isn’t yours in the first place.

THIS is the empath’s Achilles Heel.  So, though you may look at ‘saving’ as honourable, it in fact does not support the highest and best good of either party.

So next time a healing crisis arises that isn’t yours.  Set your intention to hold space for that person and help them to navigate their journey through it and don’t accept any hot potatoes … some people are used to throwing their stuff onto others, don’t be the person who plays catch.

This goes for work environments, co-workers, partners, family members … their energy is theirs, not yours.  Set healthy boundaries for yourself based on YOUR energy needs and learn the art of holding space, not going on search and rescue missions.

P.S. It is also worth sharing that if you are an empath off the rails, rescuing everything and everyone … you may have some healing of your own that you aren’t facing or realizing is surfacing through these external situations. In this case, it is best to focus on yourself and chart a course for your own inward healing journey. 

Much love xo

Caroline

Multipassionate Is The New Super Power!

Are you someone with a million and one ideas, constantly creating, incessantly inspired … struggling to focus on one thing? Consider yourself a new-age super-hero, cape and all.

Multipassionate is a term that seems to get a bad rap … often lumped in with the equally magical, jack of all trades, master of none. Well, I am here to share why being multipassionate may actually be your biggest gift (and ours).

Have you ever considered what happens when you are creating? All of that right-brain activity, serotonin flowin, imagination having, creative euphoria … sounds horrid, right? Well you are actually raising your vibration and accessing higher states of consciousness and if you weren’t aware, these high frequency states are exactly what your body needs for self-healing, optimal health and accessing that sweet frequency of love.

But that’s not all … high frequency states generate incredible solutions, visions, inventions and valuable insights that end up solving some of the world’s greatest problems. So, when your next creative craze hits — get onboard and give it permission to flow full force, without the need to shut it down with focus.

“What on earth am I going to do with all of these ideas?”, “How will I ever make anything of myself?”, “Why can’t I come up with that one amazing thing?”, these are the thoughts that kill creativity, they cap the expansion that creativity so effortlessly offers.

So how do you use your super power AND take action in your life?

Commit to letting your creativity flow and staying out of its way and then simply pay attention to what sticks. What ideas or inspirations seem to revisit you? What signs, signals and synchronicities is the Universe sending to you that point to a particular idea?

Next, in order to keep that energy flowing and momentum going, commit to taking some small action steps to investigate this ‘sticky idea’ to see where it may be leading you.

Now here is the most important part … try not to let your expectations and impatience get in the way, causing you to ‘want to know now’ and to immediately ‘do something with this idea’, which will ultimately cap its expansion. Creativity has a funny way of leading you to a final destination, generally blindfolded and riddled with anticipation … it hopes you will follow with enjoyment and freedom.

You see, with no expectation, you provide creativity the largest canvas in which to paint its masterpiece and don’t be fooled by your blindfold … it is indeed being painted with wonderous strokes and marvelous colours and when the finished product is revealed, you will by mystified by your very own artistry.


Lots of love,
Caroline

How the Hell Did You Take Such a Big Leap?

One of my favourite questions to be asked is, “How the hell did you take such a big leap from marketing to this?” (insert funny, confused, squinty look). 

To give you some quick background, a few years ago I opened a full-time practice in Life Coaching and Energy Therapy, a year after being offered a well-earned role as the Director of Marketing in my 13+ year career in the marketing industry.  So, the confused faces are to be expected when people inquire as to how and why. 

So here is the story behind my leap…

Research shows that the body is a better indicator of truth than the mind.  Just think ‘lie detector test’ and you get the picture. The body never lies and our heart is our compass and my compass knew where the hell it wanted to go, I just ignored it for decades. I could literally hear my body whisper daily for years, “mmm no, this isn’t it, you are meant to do something else”. Failing to listen to my body answered why I was so unhappy for years… I had become accustom to not being me, to not following what I love most in life and denying myself what lights me up every day.

So, there I was, the day my mind met its match… I was about 2 months into Dr. Martha Beck’s Coach Training program and an undeniable feeling was taking place, my heart was leaping out of my chest on a daily basis, as my body illustrated its passion for what truly felt like my ultimate purpose in life.

It wasn’t long before I had mapped out a plan to make it all happen, a new business venture that is.  Fear and logic would say, “NO!!! What are you doing? Are you out of your mind? You can’t leave this lucrative marketing career and you certainly can’t just start a business like that!”. 

 My mind loved to run wild but it was very hard to hear over the sound of my heart and my heart was clearly screaming, “YES!!! Start the damn business!  Believe in yourself! Embrace the entrepreneur and passionate soul that you truly are!  F@ck the rest of this sh@t!”.   Well, my heart may not have said that last part but you catch my drift.

So, I wholeheartedly (pun intended) took the leap and the reason I love answering the question is because I get to tell the story of the BEST decision I have ever made and there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t grow more and more passionate about what I do and in following my heart. Doing what you love is truly what you SHOULD be doing.

So, in closing what I would like to offer is, find what you love and if it points in the direction of something completely different than what you have been doing… don’t be afraid to follow your heart and especially do not be afraid to take the leap when you hear it scream, “it’s go time!”. 

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”
— Steve Jobs

Enjoyed this blog post?  Check out the Soul Slap video that talks about listening to your body's wisdom.

 

The Resurgence of the Divine Feminine

Are you ready to embrace your divine feminine energy through loving your body and reclaiming your freedom? Join me and my wildly feminine and free friend and fellow coach, Linda Katz as we talk about the resurgence of the Divine Feminine in our culture and society, why this shift is happening and what we can do to embrace our own true feminine nature. 

Listen to the recording and start tapping into your wild feminine nature!
The Resurgence of The Divine Feminine - Nov. 29th, 2016 (Recording)
 

Design and Attract Your Destiny

It is law of attraction time!!! Join my friend and I,  fellow Martha Beck trained Life Coach, Shannon Heigle as she takes our thinking and behaviour from stuck to successful. If you are longing for a different outcome in your life… it is time to learn how to design and create what you want using these universal laws. 

Listen to the live recording below to how you can make the the Law of Attraction work for you!
Design & Attract Your Destiny - Oct. 28th, 2016 (Recording)

The Power of Self Love

It is time to love thyself!  Curl up for an hour of inspiration, guided meditation and much needed wisdom with my special guest, Heidi Martin a Yoga, Reiki, Energy Medicine, Heal Your Life® Workshop Leader & Life Coach... not to mention self-love advocate and whole-hearted wellness warrior! 

Listen to the live recording below to get your self-love on now!
The Power of Self Love - Sept. 29th, 2016 (Recording)